Change. I’m sure many of you have been going through similar transitions in light of the recent astrological events. I’ve been pretty focused on the idea of change; and what power we have in that regard.
As human beings, we are habitual creatures. Over the course of our (many)lifetimes, we develop certain habits that follow us along; unconscious patterns of behavior that are the default mode of operation many people spend their entire lives in: bound to tradition and ritual, unwilling to question the status quo due to the unpleasantness of cognitive dissonance.
To me, floating through life without truly experiencing every moment is really the only “sin” I can think of. It’s the equivalent of slapping our creator in the face as a way to say “thank you for the gift of existence;” as if anything we experience is not worth experiencing. Every moment is a gift, to be embraced with the entirety of our being. If we glide through life on autopilot while blindly giving our attention away to fear or worry, or entertainment, then we’re not being truly present. If we’re not fully here-and-now, then we miss out on the overwhelming beauty that exists in every mundane thing; which, is a waste, given how truly unique this experience really is. Children see it, because they haven’t yet experienced something to give them any prejudgments about certain events, thus being open to an attitude of constant bewilderment; in awe of everything they encounter. We have to cultivate this sense of innocence, and greet every new experience with an attitude of curiosity and gratitude, because being completely open to whatever may come is truly the only way to experience reality as it truly is.
Life is a subjective experience. Every single person ever born experiences life through different sets of filters. It’s become habitual for most of us to immediately judge and catalog every experience we have on a scale of good to bad, when in all reality it’s our decisions that determine our perceptions, and the event that was experienced was at it’s core just something that happened. Our lives are our own individual movies, and we’re the directors. It’s our choice whether or not there’s an awesomely exciting and uplifting soundtrack, or one that’s suspenseful and sad. We’ve full creative powers to portray a situation in documentary light too, as in “today, this is what happened” and leave it at that.
This objective observer is able to maintain their vibration because they consciously choose how they are going to react to a certain stimuli. Where maybe in the past they might have reacted by becoming angry, or withdrawn, now they can choose to react in a more positive way. Instead of life being an emotional roller coaster ride, it can be more of a balancing act.
I’m not in anyway demonizing emotions. Emotions are powerful, and helpful, when we pay attention to what it is they have to tell us. But because of those prejudgements, our habitual unconscious response to certain emotions is to reject them or repress them, which only cause them to get bigger. Emotion is energy in motion, until we become attached it, in which case it becomes attached to us ,then that energy isn’t in motion any longer and hangs around until it is properly processed, which could take years, if it ever happens at all. By being a Conscious witness to this experience, instead of being easily influenced by constant waves of emotion, we can control the waves and sail on a peaceful sea. How some people so enjoy the storms though!
The point I want to make is this: Once we graduate from this dualistic worldview (note the word “WORLD-VIEW” as in how we view our world) we can start to see things as they are. Love is the essence of creation; God is Love, The world is Love, We are Love, Love is God, We are God… We have to change the way we’re looking at things as a species, because until we do the world is going to remain divided; There will always be war, there will always be famine, there will always be rape, until we do something differently. We have the power to change that by the way we choose to live. It’s a fulltime job that we enlisted for before we got here, and every single second spent doing something other than Being fully present,Loving Life and Loving every brother and sister we meet is a second spent manifesting the alternative. Right now we can’t afford that.
We are all divine creatures; and its our duty to live as examples of how we want the world to be. Some of our brothers and sisters are still asleep, and we may be the first person they come in contact with who has any awareness at all that there is more to this experience than our eyes tell us. It’s our responsibility; its the reason we chose to be here, to shine as brightly as we possibly can, so that our family still sleeping can see the light and wake up to start living a life of Love instead of remaining a slave to the material world. It’s up to us to choose whether we”re going to hide our light for fear of what others may think, or speak our truth from the heart and love unapologetically.
We all have the power to change, We all have the ability to wake up and decide who it is we want to be each day. Not just each day, but every single second is an opportunity to reinvent the parameters of who it is we believe ourselves to be. The Mind is an incredibly powerful tool we’ve been given, and the Universe is a connoisseur of imagination; Our thoughts manifest, and our words have power, so every time we think or speak or act unconsciously we’re letting a chance to consciously create a different reality slip by. Every time we think or speak or act negatively, we reinforce the limiting beliefs that are the only things holding us back from achieving everything in our wildest dreams.And every time we speak positive affirmations we bring ourselves that much closer to what it is we want to realize.
The single most expansive description of the nature of the soul. There’s nothing limiting about it.
I found myself asking today “Is it possible to…-?” and I caught myself with the realization that just asking the question produces the answer. The limitations we carry around as belief systems are giant walls we’ve built inside our self-projected realities that prevent us from perceiving exactly that which we deem impossible.
I’ve been fascinated over the past few months with the idea of the brain as a biological computer; more specifically, how one would go about programming such a computer? As I subscribe to the belief I just mentioned above, I know that it’s possible, as is anything. So the question then becomes, “Where do I start?” Well, you’ve got to work backwards, because you can’t know how to get there if you don’t know where you want to go.
My goal is to be in full control of my self, Physical, Mental, Emotional, Spiritual. I want to be 100% conscious, always. Full Here-and-Nowness constantly. As it is, I have a ways to go, so the search for the path begins where I am. As anyone who has ever taken any entheogens will tell you, there are higher levels of consciousness; states of mind that allow for more fully-encompassing feelings of oneness and a much greater sense of being. With the 50th anniversary of the merry pranksters bus ride coming up this year, I figure it’s appropriate to quote Ken Kesey who said ““It’s time to move on to the next step in the psychedelic revolution. I don’t know what this means in any way that I could just spell out, but I know we’ve reached a certain point, we’re not moving any more and that’s why we’ve got to move on to the next step.””
I believe the next step is full awareness of the physical vehicle; but to become fully conscious, we must first become fully open and therein lies the quandry; what’s the fastest way that we can do so?
Drugs can help open the door, but all they do is unlock the potential that we carry inside us naturally. DMT is a natural product of the brain after all. I truly believe that it’s possible to change our states of mind at will and achieve a level of consciousness exponentially greater than the most intense hallucinogenic trip could hope to produce. It’s my intention to find it.
We tend to gravitate towards pleasure and avoid pain, and in that people and animals are no different; this tells me the ego can be trained, just like a dog can. Those thoughts and decisions we make unconsciously, without understanding the intention behind them, can be transmuted into more positive, creative, aware ones, with our intention, focused attention, and conscious action.
Intention is a hugely powerful tool we’re given in order to mold our realities. By spending time setting an intention and giving it energy, we create a strong structural foundation on which to build the framework for manifesting what we desire. Buildings are only built from the ground up. Without intention, there’s no goal to reach for, so life is aimless, energy scattered. With intention we can focus our energy and direct it wherever we will.
After setting the intention to become more conscious, the next step is the identification of the unconscious programs we want to remove. We can’t effect something we can’t perceive. This requires discipline in maintaining an open, accepting attitude, and vigilance in monitoring actions, speech and thought. After we spend time observing ourselves, certain patterns start to emerge that we might not have noticed before. That little voice in your head might surprise you with how often it has something negative or limiting or fearful to say. You might drive to work each day completely on autopilot, arriving with no memory of the drive.. Every unconscious thought or reaction we have needs to be immediately noticed so that we can mentally note to bring our awareness to the present moment next time, but the more we make a habit (Make-a-Habit, a habit we create!) of doing this, the easier it will become, (practice makes perfect!) until it’s a program running in the background of your mind constantly; so that anytime you react unconsciously you will be aware of it. Once observing your mind becomes second nature, it’s only a small step to taming the monkey mind into becoming the most powerful tool we have, instead of the most elusive puppetmaster there is.
Instead of looking from the perspective of “What is it that I need to change?” Think “What can I do differently?” Because with the latter, you’re already thinking in a negative manner. The energy needed to move something at rest, in this case, an unconscious habit; is a whole lot more than the energy needed to start off in an entirely different direction. So with a focus on what it is that can be done differently, already you’re off to a better start, because you’re not trying to fight what already is; instead you’re blazing a new path while letting go of something you may have thought you had no control over.
Take smoking. I’ve been smoking since I was 15 years old. Seven years now. Let me be clear here, it’s not smoking that I’m talking about, it’s the action of doing something unconsciously and this happens to be the easiest, most accessible unconscious act I can think of. I have 100% unconsciously let the words “Hey could I… Bum a cigarette?” come out of my mouth, when that morning I’d resolved to quit for good. I by habit, unconsciously reached for cigarette, unconsciously lit cigarette, unconsciously smoked the WHOLE THING, all the while watching from an objective place marveling at the assertiveness of the unconscious mind, but choosing not to take control. It’s these types of behaviors that can most easily be cleared because their so easy to see, it’s the deeper, less visible that may take some more time to find and transmute.
Taking conscious action is the final step needed to ground the new program you want to run. In this example, Once it’s recognized that the thought “I need a cigarette” is most probably followed by your immediate accepting, and executing the [::>Smoke Cigarette] Program, you can instead access your minds control prompt, and change the follow up to “I need a cigarette” with [::>Take 5 minutes and Focus Consciously on Breathing] Or it could be anything. The only thing that matters is that what just happened was an intentionally made decision to replace an unconscious action with a conscious one.
Since I’ve started this experiment in Behavioral programming, I have noticed an increasing sense of presence now that I can more clearly see the parts of me that no longer serve me, so I can more easily choose to act differently. It has struck me how often I act a certain way out of the fear of what other people might think; in the past I’m pretty certain that I wouldn’t have posted this to facebook; but I’m speaking my truth, and I’m not afraid to do so anymore; certainly not out of fear of others reactions. There are always going to be people who don’t like you for one reason or another. There’s no way to please everyone all the time! Not yet at least. And besides, if you hide your true self for fear that some people might not approve, or that they’ll be offended, or whatever, then you’re robbing the people who might really resonate with you. If you refrain from speaking your truth because you’re afraid of what some people might think, you may cost that one person who really needed to hear what you had to say.
This is a plea to the rest of my brothers and sisters; Please, can we all focus our energy and dedicate ourselves to Living Conscious, Compassionate, Loving lives, and to commit to becoming as bright as we can? I want to see every one of us shine like mini suns. With our powers combined we can completely change the world within our lifetimes. I’m sure of it.
~In Love and Light!~
New years at slab city: a drug addelled, two day, psychadelic romp through the last free city in the country- in all respects a spread out garbage dump that has become a haven for those social outcasts who have a hard time with the invisible structures that civilization tries to inprison us inside….
Speaking of invisible structures, one thing the 2cb has made me comt to understand is how perfect a computor the mind is; I’ve had the seed of this subtly growing in my head for awhile now, only to come to full fruition last night.
All the human body is, is an interface in which the soul can use to effect it’s will upon the world around us. And it’s the mind that we use to control the body were given. The mind is the most powerful computer man has ever seen- not even the fastest supercomputer can compete with the amount of data processing that the human brain can concieve- I read recently that the human eye records in 800 million megapixels, compared with the normal 8 megapixel camera now?
Crazy amount of data.
Just like the computer that you’re using to read this, the brain can be optimized in order to operate more efficiently. To do this is simple- the first step requires identifying which action or thought process you would like to adopt; say you’d like to be more organized- you need to take concious action in order to download this mindset into a habitual pattern.
Human beings are habitual creatures as I’m sure you’ve probably observed; to the point of unconciously acting out these habits. To turn an action that may normally run contrary to your nature into something that gets done without a second thought because it has become second nature requires the conscious observing and unlearning of any habits performed on autopilot. Meditating upon waking up is a great example- the more you do it the easier it gets.
This year I want to adopt three words as a mantra- simplify, optimize, and stragetize. I’ll freely admit that I look for the easiest way to do something- I figure as a human being we’ve evolved enough to be resourceful, so why work harder than I have to. “Work smarter, not harder” and that’s what I’m getting at. I want to improve my foresight, because one thing iv’e learned is the more prepared you are, the more life throws your way. So if my powers of foresight will let me have all the tools on hand to deal with a situation, then when met by said situation I won’t be regretting.
not having x.
I will inventory all of my thoughts and possessions and empty all but the most essential items; in doing so I will manifest whichever items I need in order to be the model of preparedness- because the more generally all prepared you are the less planning you have to do and the freer you are to follow the wind.
I will work the most efficiently I can inorder to reduce the amount of time and effort it takes to accomplish my goals.
Other intentions- watching my language and ammending my vocal diction to include only the words I conciously choose- by year end I will be speaking without using speech crutches: no more like, um…
Owning my emotional reactions as my own choice, and choosing to indulge in feelings that will serve my growth.
Quitting smoking and going vegan.
More to come
Hey there! Welcome to my blog! Thanks for dropping by!
If you’re like me at all, than you’re creative process is all over the wall, maybe quite literally. Here’s a quick quiz to determine whether or not you have anything to learn from this blog. Ready?
1. This best describes how inspiration relates to you.
A. Inspiration is like a
Watermelon tourmaline and Blue peacock topaz
The tourmalator! Black tourmaline and indigo kyanite
Black tourmaline and indigo kyanite!
It’s been awhile since I’ve posted last; I’ve been hecticly busy and finding the time to sit down at a computer, or even finding a computer to use at that has been a challenge to say the least.
I went to the National Rainbow Gathering in Tennessee for around two weeks- I can’t pin down how long I actually was there as I’m not quite sure when it was I arrived and when it was I left- the whole loss of time thing is exhilerating for me; no clock watching, day counting- Where it’s only ever before noon, After noon, or “dark thirty” what a wonderful concept…
After a couple of days of wandering around the gathering checking things out, I plugged in with Shining Light kitchen; a bunch of beautiful souls who truly are physical manifestations of love and light- We spend two weeks feeding anyone who came by our kitchen when food was done- Pancakes were a favorite- ginger banana; white chocolate espresso- among others; Food had a habit of appearing out of thin air at rainbow- alot of the materiels we used to cook with just spontaneously apperated in our kitchen. To spend whole days feeding people and cooking food was an amazing experience.
The kitchen bus left for boulder colorado with 20 of us, we stopped in various places along the way to busk up gas money; Blew peoples minds along the way.
Blehhhhhh It’s so far inthe past I dont even feel like writing about it any more.
Well the bus dropped us off in boulder; A few of us got camping tickets our first night in town; which is ironic because we have to appear in court in a week, meaning we have to avoid the cops for a week before the court date; seems to me like they could just shoo us on out of their town….
Pearl street is great- I’ve never seen so many street performers and they have pianos!
We’re camped up in nederland, we’ve been hitching into town to busk, and it’s such an easy, beautiful ride. I’ve been stuck in places before, but never as gorgoeous as here.
A new friend and I are manifesting a school bus to turn into a mobile sound stage- There’s a huge vision in place for what we want to create- and it’s all starting to happen now. Life is so exciting.!
This is a song I wrote; My friend olga decided to throw me a benefit show to help raise money for a synthesizer. Wonderful Woman!
I’ve been fascinated with the creative process for a long time now- In part because it’s been so central to my life; but also because it’s something I’ve been struggling with for awhile. Creation doesnt come from us- the inspiration isn’t our own; but it comes from Above or within or somewhere; its been a personal quest of mine to figure out how to tap into this endless stream at will, which is really Magic by definition (the art of changing consciousness at will)
There are certain times in my life when I’ve experienced complete and total presence; and with that presence comes a sense of expansiveness; its a bit paradoxical, but when I find myself to be inhabiting the now, “I” am no longer here; having lost myself in something greater than myself. I can get out of my head and stop judging and criticizing as the music flows through me and instead observe the process and just BE with it.
Many of the times I’ve experienced this sense of being played by the music, I’ve been on expanding substances- But as Ken Kesey said, It’s time to graduate from LSD - I’m a firm believer that our bodies have the ability to produce any of the states that we can enter by taking drugs- DMT is a molecule that exists naturally in our brains… My experience with Kundalini yoga has served to confirm this belief that we don’t need the drugs to get there- yea they help- but as of lately I’ve been making huge strides in “letting go”; of the need to judge, of the need to be perfect, of the need to be so attached to the outcome of my creation- and have been able to slip into the flow, and play for the joy of playing- art for arts sake, music for musics sake: Somewhere along the way I’ve developed some crazy notion that everything I create has to be a masterpiece; possibly out of some misguided sense of duty to the universe and the rest of my fellow man to give back for the gift that I’ve been given: I have to confess though, that since I’ve become so obsessed with the idea of my own creation’s need to be perfect, I’ve spent DAYS hunched over a microscope examining every single line of any project I’m working on- changing a word here, taking a word out here- And the nutty thing is that I expect it to be 100% finished as soon as it comes out of my mouth; no room for editing; I even get down on myself when I can’t churn out a 10 minute song complete with lyrics the first time I play it- somehow I’ve convinced myself that a real musician doesn’t have to work at his art, and that “real musicians” will just be possessed by some Muse from some other dimension and act as a vessel for the music that’s signed sealed and delivered right to my door- all I gotta do is sit there and look pretty… And the crux of the issue is that this hyper analyzing of the stuff I write; it isn’t fun; the play three lines, stop, think of the next line, play another line- it takes the joy out of it- It’s the spontaneous expression of feeling that i’m after, but for some reason, it’s like I’m a bird with wings that refuses to fly- I have no idea why it is that I find it so difficult to connect with my feelings in the moment; I can definitely sense some fear there, and I’m working through it, but a fear of what?
I guess It’s been easier for me to shift the responsibility of my art onto some higher power; It’s easy for me to see how I may have gotten confused in the past- afterall, Inspiration CERTAINLY comes from somewhere else, at least in my experience; and anytime I’ve tapped into that higher consciousness I’ve lost myself in the moment entirely- and from my own perspective, it’s as if I was possessed by the music that wanted to move through me- it definitely wasn’t my own that’s for sure- But I think it really calls to mind the question “who am I?”
If I consider myself this 3rd dimensional body and the incredibly limited consciousness that I possess, than yes, I do “lose myself” and am possessed by something greater. And as easy as it is to fall prey to this illusion, I know that it isn’t the case. We are ALL greater than the reflection staring back at us in the mirror. We all have a higher self that’s calling the shots and whispering in our ear “this way-” even if we choose not to listen. I know that when I lose myself, call it ego death, or presence, or what have you, I’m really FINDING myself, as that all pervading sense of Cool, Collected, calmness- the humble confidence that right now, at this very moment, I AM, and that’s all that matters- That’s the only real truth- All the rest of this nonsense of playing artist or trying to express myself or being afraid of what anyone else thinks, or caring about what might happen- It’s a silly ego trip- none of it matters; none of it effects me. It is, I am… so what?
I met a wizard the other day named Merdalf- he was a 58 year old african american busker with a guitar painted all kinds of dayglo paint, along with his shoes and his hat; we had an incredible-five-hour-long conversation about creation, and that inner still place- it was exactly the things that I needed to hear; “You are always the best you that you can be, the minute you start trying to be you, you are trying too hard- It’s like your standing on a well fishing for minnows, you already have everything you need”
If I’ve learned one thing in my years of playing music its this; In comparing myself to other people (or even myself, past or potential) I vastly constrict the flow of creative juices and make it infinitely more difficult to produce anything- Instead I’m left with whole bunch of half finished projects i end up losing interest in and never finishing in favor of whatever’s “new” this week. If instead of judging everything by some warped idea of perfectness, I was able to detach enough to work through the emotions that inspired the song- I’d have albums finished by now.
It’s my hope that anyone struggling with the same issues that I have will be able to let go of this baggage- and embrace your inner child; sing your song for the joy of it, so that we may all hear the fire of your heart and rejoice in the expression of YOU.
For those who don’t know what the term “busking” refers to; It’s standing on the street and playing music with the case open. It’s the way that I support myself while travelling; Yesterday I had an amazing experience; I was playing in Canton with a sign that said “When Life gives you Lyme… Make lemonade!” which honestly is probably over the heads of a lot of people, I noticed a good deal of confusion in people walking by; But a few people showed me true compassion- It stopped them cold, and they asked “Do you have Lyme?” And we talked about it for awhile…
The reason I enjoy playing music for people is because music truly transcends boundries- Doesn’t matter your color, Doesnt matter the age or background; It really brings people together. To see such compassion from a complete stranger always renews the faith I have in humanity.
Later on in the night, three african american gentlemen sat down on the bench in front of me and started listening; Now my normal busking routine is 10Pm-2am Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and I mostly play covers because in my experience that’s what brings in the most money (drunk people love singing their favorite songs) Also, I really only have a couple of songs finished that I feel comfortable playing for people. Anyway, One of these gentlemen was the incarnation of Love; he listened to a few songs then started insisting that we “go deep tonight” and he wanted to hear some real stuff. “Play something that you really feel!” he encouraged, so I played one of my originals, to the great delight of my audience; Then I played another that I only just finished- the most powerful song I’ve written to date; and to see the appreciation on their faces was incredible. Afterwards, I’d given my guitar to a drunken sailor, and Keith (the man I was speaking of earlier) insisted that I was an artist, and that I should sing while the other man played; and so he played some blues, and I started singing after keith locked eyes with me and told me that he believed in me.
It was exactly what i needed; I haven’t been busking in awhile so my confidence flatlines for a bit; also with the whole lyme thing I’ve been much lower energy lately; On top of all this, I’m still trying to open myself to beable to spontaneously create in front of an audience; I really have trouble sometimes; so to have a few complete strangers stop, give me their undivided attention; and then tell me that “I can see your an artist; I believe in you” It brings tears to my eyes.
This isn’t the first time something like this has happened; but every instance just serves to solidify my reasoning for deciding to live my life this way; It just takes one person that resonates with the energy that I’m sharing to completely wipe away hours of frustration and drunken morons.
As those men walked away; Keith pulled me in close and told me “Never forget the Love you were shown by a Black brother; Don’t forget when they call us Niggers; You remember this”
Music, Love, They bring us together across all boudries; Doesn’t matter the clothes you wear, the color of your skin, the god you believe in. It’s all the same.
Ahhhh I’m still vibrating thinking about it; and it’s happening more and more; Those experiences where you can FEEL the love in the air.
It’s the reason I keep getting back out there. Maybe I’ll see you on the street sometime :)
This too shall pass